Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Day 5 - Wu Chen Ding

Okay, first off I am not a good story teller, but I feel the need to still tell our story.

I told my husband that we would only adopt once...just one little girl is all I wanted (I have never felt the need for a biological child...besides, our gene pool wasn't the greatest.  We both had/have health issues).  I really wanted to adopt from China...not sure why..just wanted to.

In 2004, we brought home our fourteen month old daughter from Yunnan.  She was perfect in every way.  She was well taken care of by her foster family...very bright...and beautiful.  What more could I ask for? 

When she turned three, I kept thinking it would be wonderful for her to have a sibling...someone who looked like her, shared the same stories, dealing with issues that I couldn't really understand (being adopted and not looking like your parents).  I kept wondering what would happen when we weren't around anymore...She wouldn't really have “family” around...Sure, she had much older cousins...a couple around her age, but didn't live near her...Would she be okay with being an only child?

I then came up with a plan...start planting the seed in our daughter’s head.  Ask her about having a sibling...would she want that..Then she started asking for a baby sister...to anyone who would listen...Hubby wasn't thrilled...hahah.

It was 2007, and I had to push a little harder, as the new rules were going to come into play...we would probably not be eligible to adopt again due to the strict rules.  The race to push grew even more intense...finally hubby agreed.  We managed to get our paperwork sent to China in time..now we wait...and wait.

In 2009, I started bugging hubby to think about the waiting children program.  I had heard rumors that the wait was just going to get longer for a “healthy” child...I didn't want a huge age gap between the children.  He was not sold.  I talked to people online, got him to meet some families...and finally at the end of 2009, he agreed.

In Canada, there are not many adoption agencies that deal with the waiting children program.  I only know of two.  I did research...one was not very good, the other had rave reviews.  Our other agency was nice enough to give us a partial refund, and agreed that if there was anything they could do, they would gladly help...no hard feelings.  So, after a long discussion between us, we decided what medical condition we could deal with...the big one being a heart condition.

We filled out all the papers, changed everything with our social worker, mailed everything off to the new agency in Feb. 2010.  Telling ourselves that if we don’t have any luck adopting again within a year, we will deal with only having one child....In the spring of 2010...not even two months later, we had an email from our agency..Hubby saw the email, called me over and said that I had to take a look...they found us a soon to be three year old..we had 72 hours to decide...I refused to look at her photos...just in case her medical condition was too serious for us (I had fallen in love with some children on the shared list, only to find out that we couldn't deal with their medical conditions).  I didn't want to fall in love all over again.

First photo of Wu Chen Ding

We scrambled to find someone to look at her medical charts (the cardiologist we had lined up, decided he didn't want to help)...our family doctors didn't know enough about children with heart conditions.  In Canada, you can’t just call up a ped. Cardiologist and ask for help, unless you are a patient...so, I was thinking it was hopeless...but, all was not lost...this little one was meant to be ours!  Friends from the internet, friends in different cities across north America helped..one got a ped. Cardiologist to look at her chart in California...one ped. Cardiologist looked at her file in Toronto, Ontario...all telling us that it looked like she will be okay.  She might need surgery again..or not.

We jumped on the plane in Sept. 2010 to bring home our spunky three year old from Shanghai.  It was a rough go at first...not only did we have to deal with a child that wasn’t in a good spot (long story), but she was very delayed and malnourished.

Fast forward two years...Her speech and memory are still behind.  We still don’t know what the cause is to that one.  But, she can brighten anyone’s day.  She is funny, sweet, lives life to the fullest,  spunky personality .  We are fortunate to have her in our lives (which my husband likes to point out it was his doing J ).  She is clear to do whatever she wants...maybe, in time, she might need more surgery, but not for many, many years....


Mary Sammons said...

Brenda she is absolutely beautiful and clearly perfect in every way!!!!!!! And I agree, because she just brightened my day!

LaKasha Strickland said...

Your daughters are beautiful! We are waiting to go get our her and she to is in Shanghai. I know your both so glad that you waited and push to do it one more time! God bless Wu Chen Ding's heart, life and family.

Pamela said...

I've been lucky to know you before children and after and I've seen what a wonderful blessing your girls are to you. You love them fiercely and with pride and they are blossoming under your care.

I've always said how beautiful your girls are and it's true. I hope they will always have a love for their own culture, but also for the new life they are currently living. You are so lucky to be able to parent these two lovely girls.

I hope you always enjoy the adventure of knowing them, growing them and then letting them fly on their own.


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