Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Day 18 - Elisyn

Hard to believe that our baby girl is 7 years old today.  Thinking back to 2011 when we saw her precious face for the first time, we had absolutely no idea what the next few years would bring.

To read Elisyn's past 28 Days of Hearts please click here.

But here we are . . and honestly, this year medically has been pretty boring.  :)

And we don't mind boring.  We seem to find ways to make boring the new fun.  

Elisyn is stable.  Her heart repairs are still working properly.  Her murmur though very loud is unchanged since last appointment.  She has stenosis in her conduit that is being closely monitored.  Her pressures are still too high, but able to be maintained without the use of medication at this time.  All of this is wonderful . . fabulous . . amazing.  She just looks so good.

She looks so good that most people have no idea what she has been through and continues to overcome.  For me, its easy between each appointment to forget what the future will hold for our daughter.  I forget that each beat of her heart is a blessing.  It's easy to just live in the now . . it's comfortable for all of us.  When we sought out to bring Elisyn home to be our daughter, we promised to give her a good life and a family that will love her forever.  And living is what she will do . .

But then there are the glimpses of what she has been through.  And the realization that what she has been through has changed her.  While I won't go into the specifics, while we rejoice with the current stability of her physical health.  She suffers.  The trauma of leaving the country she was born in, leaving an institution after 4.5 years where she was "comfortable", 2.5 months in a hospital, 3 major surgeries, 18 procedures under sedation, 21 days not being able to put anything to your mouth, no food, no water . . nothing.  It has changed our daughter.  Those are the wounds not visible to the human eye.  The wounds that I cannot just take her to the doctor to fix.  It is the most painful thing to watch as a mother, more painful then all of her surgeries . . I can't just put a band aid on these wounds.  They are deep.  Like any child who has endured so much.

She may be small but she is fierce!

So each day . . we remind her that we are here . . that we love her . . that she is safe . . that we will always be here for her.  That she will always have enough to sustain her.  Praying and hoping that with each day we can take the "survival" mode out of our daughter and that she will live carefree of all the pain and trauma.

I never would have believed if you had told me that her congenital heart defects would be the easiest need she would have.  

But it never would have mattered.  She is worth every second.


Drea said...

I still remember the day I saw "Sandy" on the BAAS photo listing, and here she is, living life!

Jo's Corner said...

Dear Precious Elisyn,
You are such a special little girl! I remember those very long days, then weeks that turned into months, when you were hospitalized. I know that I felt burdened and sad for all that you endured, so I can only imagine how that time effected you and your family. Please know that there is someone who prays for Healing for your heart, both physically AND emotionally. I love you!

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