Sunday, February 1, 2015

Day 1 - Lucy Haun

Why All the Waiting?

Exactly two years ago in Nanchang, China there was a little girl that was waiting. This little girl lived in an orphanage with lots and lots of other babies and children that were waiting, too. All this little girl had ever known was how to wait. Everyday was the same routine of waiting. She waited for her bottle to be placed in her hands to eat, she waited to be picked up for her diaper to be changed, she waited for her time on the floor mat, and she waited to go back to sleep. You see, waiting is something that an orphan knows all too well. This tiny orphan girl was also waiting for her heart to be fixed. She did not know all of these things, but her heart knew all too well.

Exactly two years ago in Cleveland, TN a mother was waiting for her 30th birthday to come so that her and her husband could finally submit all of their ready paperwork to China to be processed and to be approved for a little girl in China. This mother also knew what it meant to wait. She had tried to submit paperwork for this precious Chinese baby girl 6 months prior, but had been turned down and told to wait. This mother had to wait because the law said age 30 and that meant waiting six more long months before being able to send the big pile of documents to China. The waiting meant that this little girl’s file could have been returned and given to another agency. The waiting equaled a whole bunch of unknowns. and more waiting. It also meant that this precious sick little girl had to wait for her heart surgery even longer than her mother ever wanted to have to wait. This momma’s heart was told to wait.

Two years ago this little girl did not even know that her mommy and daddy were half way around the world waiting for the day that they could hold her in their arms. She had no idea just how much this mommy and daddy loved her! She had no idea how excited her brothers were about getting another sister. She only knew her day to day routine in her broken and sad world. To be told we had to wait six more months to submit our letter of intent for her was pure torture. There were so many unknowns. Our hearts were hurting and longing for this little girl. We had fallen in love with a file and a picture of this waiting child who we would name, Lucy, and all we could do was wait...

Waiting is not something I’m good at. Not. At. All. I am one of the most impatient people on this planet. When I want something to happen, I take it upon myself to do the task and get it done. Hardly do I ever wait for help. I feel as though I can handle whatever task that is set before me, I don’t need help, and my independent self can make it happen. Then Jesus reminds me again and again that He is the Great I Am, the beginning and the end, the Rescuer, and our Savior.

 Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

Psalm 39:7 says, “And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.

and one of my MOST favorite verses...

Isaiah 40:31 says, “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

Exactly two years ago my husband and I were waiting for February 26 to come. It did indeed come. We submitted all of our paperwork to China. We were approved. Time went into warp speed for us and we quickly received our log in date. A month later we received our letter of acceptance and then in May got some devastating news...

We received information from our agency that our Lucy, the one we had been waiting for, was in the hospital. We also received a final update on her and she was smaller than ever. The picture that they sent us was one of the scariest pictures I had ever seen of a child. She looked lifeless. She looked like she was dying. She looked as if it was the first time she had ever been outside of her crib. The picture and the update completely blind-sided us. We didn’t understand. We knew she needed heart surgery but we never knew it was that bad. We knew that there were some other issues and most likely other surgeries that would have to be done, but this picture took our breath away.

We asked for more answers from her orphanage and asked for more tests. We waited some more and we had become really good at waiting by this point, but this waiting was different. When we received more answers from China, they were not what we expected. We were told about Lucy having subdural hematoma that had happened 9 months prior. We were told that she had gone through several CT scans and we were given the results. We found out that, most likely, she had been abused or had fallen at some point to incur this brain hemorrhage. We also were told that this little girl would probably never thrive, never have a good diagnosis, need care for the rest of her life, and never have use of her arms and legs. Our hearts, yet again, were in turmoil. We cried out to God! God, why would you let this happen to this little girl?? She is so innocent and deserves so much more. We asked each other the really tough questions. Could we parent this child? Could we care for this child even if it took a lifetime of constant care? Would our marriage get stronger or crumble under such a weight? It was a hard place to be sitting. We had never adopted before and did not even begin to understand how it changes you completely. We were still on the other side. We were given a choice to make. Either we bring her home or we leave her in there to basically die. Yes, maybe, there would have been another family come along... maybe... but this little girl’s file had been turned down many times before we first saw it. She had been waiting for too long. Would we make her wait even longer? or possibly wait until her life was no longer livable?
The answer came to Chad, my husband, a few days later. Chad was talking to his dad and his dad asked him this question: “If Jesus was sitting across the table from you right now, what would you tell Him?” Of course, Chad immediately said, “Jesus would say, Go get my child!”
Chad called me right then and said, “We are going to China! There is no way we are leaving her there.” God opened up our eyes to see that no matter what anyone said... that this little girl was our daughter!
That very day we received Travel Approval. We got on a plane 4 days later. Then two days later our baby girl, Lucy, was placed in our arms. As I sit here and write this, I’m in tears. Just remembering back to that hot day in China where we met and were given the most precious gift. I know that the day we  knit together in our mother’s wombs that our Creator said, “Look at this most precious gift.”

Lucy was indeed just that, a gift. A gift that we had to wait extra long for... but she was SO VERY WORTH THE WAIT!

 Lucy was indeed very developmentally delayed, very malnourished, very neglected, very sick, and very much in need of heart surgery.

Within the first few months of bringing her home she was diagnosed with congenital heart defects, hydronephrosis, congenital ptosis in her right eye, deafness of the right ear, many developmental delays, polydactyl right thumb and congenital hip dysplasia. Over the course of a 14 months she had 1 major life saving heart surgery, 1 major reconstructive hip surgery (that included 3 months in a spica cast), and 6 other minor surgeries. I literally became an honorary physician’s assistant after the first year because I had learned so much of the doctor’s lingo and had gained so much knowledge of how the human body works. Lucy had 14 specialists and 1 primary pediatrician.

All that waiting we had endured for the year before we got Lucy turned into another 18 months of more waiting....
....waiting in doctor’s offices, waiting in the waiting room during surgeries, waiting in ER’s, waiting in PICU’s, and waiting for the next milestone that Lucy would possibly meet...

At times it was hard to understand the “whys” in all the waiting... why would God have us bring home this little girl that needed so much and for us to go through a whole different kind of waiting?

 Psalm 33:20-22 says, “Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.”

Romans 5:3-4 says, “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope”

I do trust God. I know that His love is never ending. I know His love is steadfast. I know that if we endure than our character grows and we lean in deeper to His side.

It was going through this past 18 months with Lucy that all of sudden I realized that God has put me in this exact place for such a time as this... it finally took root way down deep in my soul. All of the waiting and questions and the whys put me in the perfect position that God has always wanted me in. It put me at a place where I am in desperate need of Him. He wants me to stay in a posture of constantly needing Him. The waiting is hard. Adoption is hard and good and broken and beautiful. The adoption world motto is “a constant hurry up to wait.” The truth in it all is that whatever is unknown to us, is KNOWN to Him! And that is the best part.

 God had written our Lucy’s story before time began and He is still writing it. He knew that us giving birth to three biological children would not be the only way we would become parents. God knew the hard and the waiting that would come in our lives even before He put Chad and I together. He knew that waiting would be a big part of our lives. There is reason and purpose even when we have no understanding of it yet. I know God has big plans for our Lucy’s life. She is our miracle girl and because of her, Chad and I are forever changed. God has used her in our lives to change and open our hearts more than we could have ever imagined. God has opened our eyes and broken our hearts. I pray that He keeps changing and molding us to be more like Him everyday. I pray that He never stops making us wait for Him.

Never stop waiting... for it is in the “waiting” that God is making us into what He wants us to be.

 From my heart to yours,

We are in process again of bringing another precious babe home from China. If you would like to follow our journey go here:


LisaE. said...

What a wonderful story of trusting The Lord. Many blessings to you as Lucy continues to thrive in your family.

Sarah said...

God's love truly transforms us all! Praise be!

Andrea O. said...

Thank you for this update! She is doing so beautifully! What a treasure!

Stephanie said...

This is the first time I ran across your blog about your sweet Lucy. How precious to read about the journey details, and your faith in following the Lord's plan for your family. Blessings and love for Lucy, your new little one, and your family.

Post a Comment